The Idiot Who Thought She Looked
Like Margaret Cho But Didn't

We've said it before, and we'll say it again. The problem with stupid people is that you can't make them understand how stupid they are. They just go on about their day, merrily strolling along, oblivious to their blithering idiocy. People can't drive, people can¹t tell a joke, people can't stop themselves from having tons of children that they can't support mentally or financially. Is it just me, or is EVERYone an idiot? (Silly question. Of course they are.) Here's my most memorable recent experience with a total and complete moron: For Siren's birthday, we went to see Margaret Cho performing at the Laff Stop. She was recording her new CD at the performance, and I wasn't even bothered by the 2 drink minimum that ended up costing us $30. Being the fool that I am, I drank my 2 at the beginning of the show rather than at the end, and I spent the entire night doing what I call the "Jesus-H-Christ-I-Really-Have-To-Pee Shuffle" in my chair. Finally, I decided I couldn't wait until the end, so I got up out of my chair and headed to the WC. Outside the restroom, there were two presumably gay men standing there with an Asian girl. From in my stall, I could hear one of the guys talking to her. He was saying, "You know what? You know what? I dare you to stand here and pretend to be Margaret Cho. You look like her! You should do it! Do it! I dare you! See if anyone asks you for an autograph! Doitdoitdoitidareyouidareyouidareyou!" I came out of the bathroom and saw who it was talking.... it was a girl who happened to be Asian, but looked NOTHING like Margaret Cho. I dismissed them as idiots and went back to my seat. The show was ending at this point, and since the waitress hadn't brought back out tab yet, we were among the last ones to straggle out. But then I saw that they really were standing there by the door saying "bye" to everyone. So I seized the opportunity, and looked at her with bugged out eyes and went "Oh my God, HI!!" And smiled a big goofy smile. She faintly smiled back and nodded as if I were cramping her style. The DOITIDAREYOU guy burst into laughter. Siren and I were walking away and I was tapping her shoulder furiously and pointing back at the impostor, and the guy just couldn't stop laughing. He really thought he had pulled a fast one on someone. We dawdled around for a few minutes and could still hear him cackling as we walked out the door. But the part he forgot about was... that she looked NOTHING AT ALL LIKE MARGARET CHO EXCEPT THAT SHE WAS ASIAN!! Siren and my inner voice were both telling me to go back and make sure that the guy knew I was kidding, but I decided it would be cooler to dwell in the satisfaction that he probably went around telling all his friends about it later, thinking he had really done it. He had really fooled me into thinking it was her. I suppose he must have forgotten about how I was in the bathroom directly behind them while they were scheming not 5 minutes earlier. Tee hee. I hope someday I see that guy again. He'll walk up and say "I saw you at the Laff Stop talking to Margaret Cho! *snicker*" and I can give him the link to this article and walk away without saying a word. Muahahaha. What a moron.