Axl Gets Shit Together, Rocks Siren's Socks

Ever since the MTV Video Awards where the "new" Guns n' Roses came out on stage for a medly of all GNR's classics, I've been hearing people say mean things about Axl Rose. "He's fat and bald now," they'd say. Or "He got completely out of breath just running across the stage!" I can't say I saw the MTV performance, but I did see a performance Monday night at Allstate Arena in Rosemont, Illinois that was well worth the $35 I paid to see it.

Yes, Axl showed up. No, he didn't keep us waiting two or three hours before he decided to come on. No, he wasn't out of breath, and yes, I would marry him if he asked me.

Um. Did I just say that? ...The new GNR has been getting horrible reviews on every date of this tour, and as I got ready (I stopped off to get some High Life to get me in the mood), I realized that I was expecting the show to suck, and I was really only about sixty percent expecting Axl to even show up at the show. After reading reviews like this one from the Idaho Statesman, I was getting pretty bummed about having wasted the money for the ticket.

Since many of the reviews of past shows said Axl was two hours late, we decided to go a little later than previously planned. We apparently missed the opening band CKY (does this really stand for 'Camp Kill Yourself'?), and got there just in time to see Mix Master Mike. Now, you might think that a DJ is a really bad choice for an opener for GNR, and you'd be right, but I have to wonder what the motive was. On one hand, I think, "Man, why on earth would Axl pick THIS guy to open? He had to've known it would piss off the crowd." and on the other, "Heh heh...Axl's got balls." These mulleted, wife-beater adorned concert goers are not the kind of people you want to piss off, as was demonstrated at the opening show of the tour in Vancouver where riots ensued due to Axl's absence. This crowd booed incessantly through Mix Master Mike's fifteen-minute intro, which was basically a short film about what an amazing mix master he is. I can't really tell you if his set was any good or not, however, because I took that opportunity to go buy a seven dollar Mai Tai.

Upon returning to our seats, we settled in, thinking it was going to be a long wait, but within just a few minutes, the lights dimmed and the crowd, myself included, went nuts. He opened with "Paradise City" and it was everything I wanted it to be and more. Axl had energy. He wasn't bald or fat, and contrary to other reviews of the show I've read, the sound was fairly decent (I can't say I've ever attended an arena show where the sound was actually GOOD). For the first hour of the show, I was jumping up and down, mimicking Axl's snake dance, and singing at the top of my lungs. I was moved a couple of times to call Seven and Leslie's answering machine on my cell phone and hold it up so they too could experience the rock (they could even kind of hear it a little bit). I could have gone home completely satisfied after hearing "Sweet Child o' Mine," but the band played on. By the second hour of the show, I was sweating like a maniac and claustrophobia had begun to set in. Not to mention the temperature in the building must have risen thirty degrees. I had to take a seat, but Axl was still going strong. The very same Axl who was "out of breath" from running across the stage on MTV.

Bottom line: The show was amazing; none of the reviewers did it justice. Stop picking on Axl, jerks.